They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
