I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
