just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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