Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
