Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
