If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I need to calm my uterus...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
