Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
