I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
