Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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