The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
