If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
