Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
