Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
