we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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