I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
