I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
