There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
