I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
