I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
