I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
