found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
