I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
