Im at strip club and am horny
I'm really into asian looking animals
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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