I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm too high and old for this...
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
