i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
