I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
