he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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