He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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