how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
