**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
