I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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