Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
