Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
