I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
