I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
