took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
