he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
