More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
