Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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