I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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