Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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