Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
