Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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