I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
