Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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