I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
