I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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