So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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