dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
