i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
