You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
