all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When did angry sex become our thing?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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